dunno why.... but yupz... feel as though i'm drifting away from the real world. i hv such a weird feeling. i dun really care whether my friends care abt me.. like, i dun seem to feel the importance of em.. u wanna be my fren, great.. u dun, okay... tts fine.. its like i'm living in wonderland. not able to differentiate whats real n not. got my att results, i also cldnt be bothered or care less abt it. as long as i passed, dun hv to argue for higher results. these, doesnt affects me. I feel like a fake person. not realizing why i live here.. why was i born.. can i exhange myself to my mum.. i dun wanna live so long.. really scared of everything.. i dun seem to get to do anything so so so right.. no confidence.. everything's juz so so bad....

i dunno what can i do in future. for now, I definitely NOT WANNA BE A NURSE. omg.. it sucks my blood dry. I'm so not myself. i cant think properly. i dunno!!!!!

crap headed stuffs.... not tt i think many ppl wld care, but who cares!! i dun care, no one wld care.. why bother wasting time on a person who cant care less yupz..

giving birth to me, is a complete waste. wasted so much of resources. cant help but to juz so detest myself. i m so so dead. ARGGGGGGGggggGGggggggggggg

get lost!!!!!!!

 

Please make me perish forever.

dec 12.. how pathetic.... 1 wk down of attachment only.... dead fish man! 2nd wk now, and today is only MONDAY.  4 days more to go in imh... then.. back to AH. ha... depressing.... >_<!!!

oOkies, I cant wait for nxt yr to come, and to complete studies. u dunno how crap headed it is to study nursing. its good and all, yeah.. but no way for me. I AM NOT GONNA BE A NURSE. u noe how much has this argg thing changed me.. it suppose to be for e better.. but NO. I'm becoming worst. terrible attitude and all. i juz noe it. and att cant be more depressing than ever. u dun hv gd companions, nvm, den e hosp is also... hmm... wat more terrible can u feel!! i feel e importance of hvin friends in ur clique w u now. hell crappy freaking arggg... going same att as these ppl ALL E TIME. how frustrating...

I'm getting so pissed off with everything.

anyhows, ken got a sch in aust. congrats to him. was juz telling my mum, if u had send me there after Os, everything wld hv been so so different. everything happens for a certain reason. i cant care less, but sometimes, i really hv regretted why i chose this path. what could i hv done? what am i gonna do in future?

I'm like so freaking stupid w a dumb ass brain. why did i chose a sci course?.. can really turn crazy.

feel so lifeless as i pass day by day. i dunno what i've done in 2005. almost everything sucks. cant really see e positive side. cuz i dunno what they are now. stupid freako...... I HATE MYSELF! birthday sucked. life sucked. countless no. of things sucked compared to previous years. Goodness.

attitude sucks. hell. how to load back my old self. SHIT HEADED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<!!!!!!!!!

I wanna get out of sch, and do something else. ken's doing sports sci as elective. how nice!!? he's naughty and all, and yet he gets e unexpected best outcome. why am I who I am?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really wanna bang myself and cry.

DEAD.

hEy blOGgy.. yeah.. hv not written on u like ages.. =b

hving hols yeah.. ookies.. its gonna be over soon. the reality of hving att is coming, smacking right into my face.. i hate att.

Got my results on fri, was it fri?.. ookies.. yeah.. oOkies.. I passed all.. thank goodness.. dun really care abt my results, passing is gd. the rest, its juz a bonus.

i learned tkd aerobics.. its way cool! so fun!! thanks to kai hwee and siti for teaching me... they are really patient!! *thx thx*

wats nxt..

oh.. bday.. haha!!.. hmm.. no feelings for it. was juz kinda like any oth ordinary day... but i'd fallen ill, kinda damn.. den... no cake... hahaha... not tt it matters. its juz like... it din matter whether i'd celebrate it or not. its juz a day afterall.

oH, i passed my driving! yeah... merely scrape thru it!!! the gods worked!!! hahaha... went to the temple to pray... and my grandma prayed too..

oOkies... den wat...

juz got news today tt maybe my parents might be sending my bro overseas nxt yr.. how cool. so he wont be taking Ns n Os.. heh...

i dunno how i m feeling, but nv really did said much abt it.

juz feeling lost, upset, why??.... thousands and millions of qns..... confused. ookies..

Hiyee.. oOKies.. went to met sir stanley, vincent, rh, ch.. regarding on the new grading syst..

These are kinda true though...
Usually i dun post this kinda stuffs here.. haha!!!

http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Get to know yourself better

hiyee.. This whole wk's hols.. tts good yupz.. but wats bad its, my hols are totally burned, by staying home!!!

Fell ill sunday nite.. had high fever, 39.2.. By monday, 3plus am.. I was burning.. went to get my tablets, ice.. really couldnt take it.. was soo freakin bad... this all happened cuz i had throat infection.. fantastic.. then e fever dropped.. ok, so tts gd... but during the day and nite of mon, the temp went up and down.. -_-.. was so freakin pissed w myself..

tuesday, went to e doc.. okay, the med she prescribed was exactly what i was taking at home.. waste of time and money... fine!.. -_-... By wed, i was still partially 'deaf', ears were stuck.. nose block cuz of e phlegm which doesnt seems to either go down or come out.. sore throat..

Talking takes up lots of energy.. and u wldnt even understand what i'm tryin to say.

and today, same case again.. but my throat's getting better.. oH, then I had cough.. u noe how this 'whole package' thing's pissing me off.. btw, whenever i swallow, my nose feels the swallowing reflex too.. and its really uncomfortable.. which i cld juz suck all the phlegm out.. its totally killing me!!!!

See, how's this hols being wasted.. stupid!!!! >_<!!!!!!

boo.. ookies.. anyway, i'm angry w myself and everything. maybe juz pissed.

Flung da driving test... -_-.. I tot i wld hv passed.. he told me my mistakes.. they werent big mistakes.. but the way he marked it, its as though i've done everything wrongly. cant be bothered. he was like, okay, so.. u try again the next time la.. easy for him to say. I was cool and all when i came out of the room.. then i called my mum.. den i started crying. ok.. its like i've tried my best... if it werent for this and tt... just wasnt my luck. still it was my fault.. fine.. its over.. so no pt brooding over it. such asses. failing for some kinda stupid things... okay.. its fine.

Long hols ahead.. not really act.. tues going to yishun stadium. dumb.. shldnt hv agreed.. maybe i'll just sneak back home. not as though i really wanted to go.. if it werent for tkd.. -_-.. yishun's really far.

okay.. tata.. wish me luck next time.

yeah... hving cough again.. -_-.. I juz took this chinese herb thing. it totally can make u puke on the spot. when i cough, the taily bone nerves hurt... ha..

anyway, i told myself, tt i must try to pass napfa, well... tts something i wanna achieve... but i've already got e feelin tt its rather difficult. heh!

oOkies... hate getting sick again and again... -_-... mummy said she's gonna keep boiling those stuffs till i get better. I promise not to get cough again... shit! the last time i got it, it lasted for 2mths where i was so allergic to dust particles, i cough my guts out and tear at everything which happens to itch my throat!